On Being a Mother

Today is my oldest son's 19th birthday.  It just doesn't seem possible that Chris could be that old!  It seems like only yesterday that I brought home this beautiful baby boy, and I never knew that it was possible to love anyone as much as I loved him.  I was blessed with two more sons, and my heart grew bigger with each precious baby boy.  Being a mother to these young men is the most wonderful thing I have ever been allowed to do.

Don't get me wrong, being a mother isn't filled with bliss every single day.  Just as I didn't know it was possible to love this much, I also didn't know it was possible to worry this much.  When they are little, you worry about something happening to them.  The same worry is there as they grow older, but I think it gets bigger once they enter the teen years.  They don't realize how much you worry about them, and many times, they see that worry as you being too hard on them.  Hopefully, we eventually strike a balance between worrying and allowing them to spread their wings.

One of the goals we have as mothers, is training our children to be responsible adults.  It is so hard to let go and allow your children to make their own mistake and learn things the hard way.  No matter how old they get, we want to protect our children.  So often, we can see them making many of the same mistakes we made along the way and we want to protect them from the consequences of those mistakes.  But one thing I am learning is that we have to let them fall down sometimes and pick themselves back up.  They have to learn from experience.  And, as mother's, we are there for them when they realize that their way isn't necessarily the best way.

It is so important that we listen to our children. I was blessed with a mother who knew how to listen, and this is one skill that I picked up from her.  I have always told my children that they could talk to me about anything.  And, they have taken me up on that offer.  We have had frank, open conversations about sex, drinking, drugs, you name it.  There are times when I wish they wouldn't tell me some of the things they do, but I never let them know that.  I feel so blessed just knowing that my boys trust me.

I also know that loving our children can sometimes be heartbreaking.  I have held my sons and cried with them over break ups and hurt feelings.  I have watched them make decisions that I know are going to end up badly.  I have nursed them through illnesses and broken bones.  I have borne the brunt of their anger over things they perceived as me being mean or unfair.  And I have cherished every minute of it.

There is nothing harder in this world than being a mother.  But the converse is also true - there is nothing more rewarding on this earth than being a mother.  I'm watching my sons grow into fine young men.  They make mistakes, and they have massive failures in some of there choices.  But I see them growing and evolving and I have faith that they are going to succeed in life.  And that love I felt on the day each of them was born only grows stronger with each passing moment.