As you know, I have three teenage sons. With the birthdays we have had, and the one coming up in a little over a month, they are now 19, 17, and soon to be 15. It's hard to believe that they are getting older when I'm still the same age! For the most part, I'm happy to see them growing up, and starting to plan their own lives. But there are some days when I so miss the time when they were little. It's hard knowing that I am no longer the most important person in their lives.
As parents, I believe our primary job is to raise our children to be responsible, honorable adults. We need to make sure that they have a strong moral compass to make intelligent decisions. But we also need to encourage them to reach for their dreams. As a teenager, I wanted to be a singer and actress. I was good at it, and started out with this as my college major. My father, however, saw this as a disaster. He never encouraged me to follow my heart, and as a result, I ended up with a college degree in something I hated. Now, my boys don't have dreams of being stars, but I try to help them discover who and what they want to be when they grow up, and help them find the best path to reach that goal.
I miss the days when my boys were still little. I miss having them curl up in my lap for a story, or just because they want a hug. I miss getting in the floor with them to put together legos or playing with dinosaurs. I still laugh about the time Chris was 10 and told me his first "dirty" joke. I probably should have told him that it was inappropriate, but it was funny and I laughed with him. When he was little, all Matt would read were non fiction books about animals, and I miss listening to him tell me little facts about the animals he learned about. And I miss Jack curling up and falling asleep in bed with me, and not being afraid to call me Mommy in front of his friends.
I'm proud of my boys. I love watching them grow, and reach the milestones that all children reach. So far, I've taught two of them to drive, and both of them are really good drivers. Teaching Jack to drive scares me a little, tho! Chris has made mistakes in his young life, but he is finally starting to realize it, and is making efforts to turn himself around. Matthew and Jack both know what they want out of life and are working hard to achieve those goals. They are all good boys.
Tonight, Jack, my baby, will reach another milestone, and I'm not sure that I'm ready for it. Now, over the last couple of years, he has had little "girl friends", but those "relationships" pretty much consisted of seeing each other at school and talking on the phone. But now, he has his first "real" girlfriend, and they are going on their first date tonight. Now, it's a group date, with several kids meeting each other at the movie, but it's still a date. I'm happy to see him growing up to be a fine young man, but I'm not sure I'm ready for him to be old enough to go on a first date.
The time is fast approaching that all three of my boys are going to be out of the house, living their own lives. I know that they are all going to do well in life, and I'm not worried about that. I wish that I could still protect them from the pain that I know they will all experience as life goes on, but that isn't my job anymore. However, I will always be there with open arms to comfort them when life gets painful, as we all know that it can. And I will know in my heart that I raised them right, and to be good, strong men.
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