Selfish Isn't Always Bad

Selfish isn't always bad.  From an early age, we are taught not to be selfish, and to share our things with others. And this is a good lesson to learn, because we really should treat others the way we want to be treated.  However, not being selfish doesn't mean denying yourself of everything.  Some of us who deal with chronic pain on a daily basis worry all the time about being selfish.  We feel guilty about not attending an event that one of our children is involved in.  We feel guilty for canceling a get together with friends because we are not physically up to it.  And, we feel guilty for no longer being the person that we used to be.

Quite often, we will push ourselves far past our limits just to make sure that we are not letting someone else down.  And the result of all of this?  We end up making ourselves worse, and then we start feeling guilty again.  Well, I'm here to say that enough is enough!  It is high time that we all realize that being "selfish" and taking care of us is just as important as taking care of someone else.  For me, it isn't natural to take care of myself.  I try to make sure that I am there for whoever needs me, regardless of how I am feeling.  The end result of this, quite often, is that I push so hard that I have nothing left for anyone.  I will frequently end up in bed for days at a time because I just can't do any more.

As you all know, I have three teenage sons and a disabled husband.  They all need me very much, and I try to be there for them whenever they need me.  But, I am slowly learning that if I don't take care of myself, I am useless to others.  I am learning how to say no sometimes, because if I don't stop and take a breath, I'm going to be down far longer than I would have otherwise.  I am also learning that my husband and children are going to survive if they have to take care of themselves for awhile.

Do something special for yourself, because you deserve it!  Because Dale and I are both on disability, money is frequently an obstacle to some of the things I would love to do.  I am learning ways to pamper myself that don't cost a lot of money, and don't take a lot of time.  For example, one of the things that I enjoy doing is taking a long, hot soak in the tub.  I will light some aroma therapy candles in the bathroom, and take a book with me. (I also lock the door!  Even though they are boys, they will sometimes walk right in if the door isn't locked!).   If the water starts to get cold, I let some out and add some more hot water.  By the time I'm finished, I am far more relaxed than when I went in, and I am more able to give of myself.

So, let's all give ourselves a break and be a little selfish.  Figure out something you enjoy doing for you and do it.  Not only will you feel better, but the people around you will benefit as well.  Selfish really doesn't always deserve the bad rap that it gets!