Sleep!

I have always said that nothing in this world could make me go back and relive my teenage years.  For me, personally, that was probably the most painful time in my life.  I experienced depression, bullying, loneliness, and the list goes on.  Recently, however, I have discovered one thing from those years that I would love to experience again.  What might that be, you ask?  It's one very simple word....SLEEP!

As a teenager, I was a world class sleeper.  My father used to be convinced that there was something horribly wrong with me because I did not hop out of the bed at 7:00 am every single morning.  During the week, it practically took dynamite to get me out of the bed.  On the weekends, it was nothing for me to sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon.  And this is what convinced my dad that I must be desperately ill.

Now, the fact that I didn't want to go to bed at all, probably contributed to my ability to sleep so late.  But once I fell asleep, I could stay that way.  How I miss those days!  Now, because of my pain, I stay up late into the night.  Frequently, once asleep, I wake up every one to two hours, and I hate it!  Sleep is elusive, and I am always looking for it, whenever and wherever I can find it.  Naps have become essential, and I have come to the conclusion that they are wasted on the young.  They just don't appreciate them the way someone who doesn't sleep well does.

For the last 10 years, I have had horrible problems sleeping.  I'm not alone.  Most people with chronic pain, including fibromyalgia, go without deep, restful sleep.  We have trouble falling asleep, and once we do, we can't seem to stay asleep.  Quite often, the pain that we deal with day in and day out, prevents us from getting the deep, restful sleep that so many people take for granted.  Most of us have tried everything searching for sleep. We try natural sleep aids like melatonin and valarian.  We take prescription sleep medicine such as Lunesta and Ambien.  We listen to soothing music, try self-hypnosis, and use sound machines.  None of it seems to help.

Most people know what it feels like to lose sleep occasionally.  They know how miserable they feel missing just a couple of nights sleep.  But they can't imagine what it's like to have sleep disturbances every single night.  We all need deep, restful sleep.  When you don't get it, just functioning becomes almost impossible.  Our bodies require that deep restorative sleep, and when you don't get it, every aspect of your life is affected.  You can't concentrate, you start to lose coordination, you become irritable.  And this hardly ever ends.

And this is why I would return to those teen years.  The thought of sleeping for eight straight hours seems like a fantasy anymore.  I dream about sleep, but of course, dreaming about it and doing it are two different things.  I can imagine burrowing down under my comforter and finding that perfect position.  My pillows stay cool, and my mattress is just the right combination of firmness and cushioning.  I have pleasant dreams, and I awake feeling refreshed and ready to face the day.  Ahh, to live just one night from my teens and sleep that peacefully again would be worth just about anything!