Taking the Unknown Path

I had to go up to our hospital today for my annual mammogram.  In the waiting room, the TV was playing a motivational type video with soothing music and nature scenes.  Overlaying the pictures were little motivational sayings.  Most of them were pretty cliche, others a bit on the corny side.  But one of these saying really spoke to me.  I'm going to paraphrase it because I don't remember it word for word.  This is the gist of it: difficulties come when we take the way we don't really prefer; but sometimes we need to take this least preferred path in order to grow.

It brought to mind the Robert Frost poem about taking the road less traveled.  I can only speak for myself, but I tend to continue doing things the same old way, even when I know that the outcome isn't always the best.  The beast you know is often better, or at least more comfortable, than the one you don't.  But why is it so hard to try something new?  Often we are afraid of the outcome.  We don't know if we will succeed or fail.  I tend to be something of a perfectionist.  I have often shied away from new endeavors because I know that I won't be very good at it.

I wonder how many things I have missed out on because of this fear of the unknown?  I quit piano and guitar lessons as a child because I couldn't seem to get the hang of it at first.  I changed my major in college from theater arts to elementary education all because I couldn't get the hang of sewing in a shirt in costume construction.  I didn't attend Juliard when I was accepted because I was afraid of living in New York City by myself at the age of 17.  I know that all of us have made these kinds of decisions in our lives because the unknown was far more difficult than the way we usually did things.

Lately, I have decided that I am going to try doing things that seem difficult to me.  For instance, starting this blog was a big leap for me.  I have always enjoyed writing.  I have written journals, short stories, and poetry all my life.  I even attempted a novel as a teenager.  But I have never shared any of this with anyone.  Why?  Because I was afraid that it wouldn't be good enough and would be judged harshly.

I said that I started a novel as a teenager.  Back in the stone age, before word processors and computers, I had a very old, very heavy Underwood portable typewriter.  Every night, I hauled that thing out after doing homework and spent time working on My Novel.  And every night when I was finished, I would hide the pages away.  Apparently, I wasn't very good at hiding things.  My little sister had found my hiding place, and every day was reading the next chapter of my very cheesy teenage love story.

After I had written about 50 pages or so, I realized just how cheesy this "novel" was and simply quit writing it.  I thought that no one would like it, and if I thought it was cheesy, so would everyone else.  And I thought that if anyone knew about it, I would be laughed at.  Well, I found out years later, that my little sister apparently thought that this was one of the best things she had ever read.  She went to mom and confessed that she had been reading it, and was so upset that she wouldn't ever know what had happened to my young protagonists.  It may have only been my little sister, but someone loved my writing and was disappointed at not being able to find out how it all came out in the end.

And so, I finally decided to take that road less traveled and jump off that cliff into the unknown.  I started this blog and decided to put myself out there.  I hope that you are enjoying reading about what I'm writing.  I know that I am enjoying the process of writing it.  And I also know that doing the difficult thing has been so worthwhile to me.  Look into your own life and see if you can think of a road you wish you had traveled down, but decided to stay on the well worn path.  Try and do something for yourself that, on the surface, may seem difficult and a little frightening.  If you are like me, you will find that the rewards are greater than the fears.