I'm Jealous.....of My Husband's Wheelchair!

There! I've said it publicly! I'm sure a lot of you are scratching your heads over this statement, but it's really quite simple. My husband and I are both disabled. His disability has left him in a wheelchair, and yes, this is quite sad. The problem for me is that when you see him, you see his wheelchair, and you know that this person has a DISABILITY. When you see me, you think, "What's wrong with her? She looks perfectly fine!" Sometimes, I use a cane to help me, but I don't need it all the time. But I've thought about using it all the time to avoid the stares when I get out of my car in a handicapped parking space. I can only walk so far at a time without debilitating pain, but you wouldn't know that just by looking at me.

And the truth is that just because my husband is in a wheelchair, he is far from helpless. In fact, he is in better shape than I am most of the time. He is able to do more things around the house. He has better stamina than I do. He has pain, but not nearly as much as I do. People who meet us for the first time and see him doing things for me while I sit down, often think that I'm lazy or even mean for making my poor, disabled husband wait on me. Because my disability is basically invisible, people don't know it's there. I'm not the type to wear a sign around my neck listing all the physical problems that I have. In fact, I don't mention it unless I'm asked about it. But there are times when I think, "If I only had a wheelchair like Hubby, I wouldn't have to defend myself so much". But for now, I hold my head up high and try to ignore the stares and the whispered comments that are actually meant to be heard. And in a quiet corner of my heart, I'm jealous of my husband's wheel chair.