Be Careful What You Wish For

Because of complications from my knee surgery, I have basically been on bed rest for the last few weeks, or, as I call it, forced captivity.  I am supposed to do as little as possible, in order to make sure that I don't spend that much time on my legs.  At first, I thought this sounded wonderful.  I have told you that because of my husband's condition, almost all of the errand running and things of this nature falls on my shoulders.  There were days when I thought that I couldn't move another inch after a busy day, and I resented the fact that everything fell on me.  I wished that for even a few days, I could have a true break from all the things I have to do.

As the title says very plainly, be careful what you wish for!  I am absolutely going crazy right now.  I'm sick of looking at my house.  I'm sick of the constant mess and clutter.  I'm tired of expecting three people of the male persuasion to do things the way I want them done.  Honestly, I never think that I do enough.  I feel guilty that I can't do more for my boys.  I feel guilty that my house is never as clean as I would like for it to be.  I feel guilty about being in pain all the time.  I'm starting to realize that I do more than I have given myself credit for.

Right now, I would give anything to be able to walk down my back steps, get in the car, and just go drive around by myself.  I am one of those people who needs some time to herself almost everyday.  Since I had my surgery, I am never alone!  For some reason, I can't sleep in my bed anymore.  The only place that I am comfortable is sitting and sleeping in my recliner.  I have people around me 24 hours a day!  I love my family, but I wouldn't complain if they all vanished for about seven or eight hours.

I am also noticing that my back, and other muscles, are hurting more than usual.  I am attributing this to the fact that I am not moving around nearly as much as I used to.  I won't be running a marathon.....EVER!  But I do know that once I'm released from this forced captivity, I am going to try and be a little more active.  I think this will help me in more ways than one.  I am so tired of sitting around, doing basically nothing.  It is what I wished for, but apparently, it wasn't what I wanted!