Acceptance

For those of us who suffer from an invisible illness/disability such as chronic pain, fibromyalgia, lupus, or any of the myriad other conditions which are not readily visible, I believe the one thing we want above all is acceptance.  If I told you that I had cancer, you wouldn't tell me to suck it up.  If my leg had been amputated, you certainly wouldn't tell me that walking a mile a day would make me feel better.  You would accept my condition without question.  But because my disability isn't visible to the world, it is considered less than other disabilities.

Most of the time, I use a cane when I am out and about running errands.  While I don't always need it, I have found that my cane acts as a visible symbol of my disability.  I often have to use one of the motorized carts provided at the larger chain stores.  If I sit down on the cart and plunk my cane into the basket, no one looks twice at me.  However, if I haven't brought my cane for some reason, I have been subjected to dirty looks and rude comments.  People aren't readily willing to accept that some disabilities aren't in your face.

I have said this before, but it is difficult to understand chronic pain when you haven't experienced it yourself.  That being said, I have never had cancer, but I am empathetic to those who have.  I have sympathy for the sufferer, and I would do anything within my power to make things easier for them.  I would accept the things they are going through without judgement.  This is what we want for ourselves.

To be honest with you I am tired of smiling and nodding at people when they tell me that their Aunt Mildred had fibromyalgia, and she ate nothing but black beans for the rest of her life and it cured her.  What I would really like to say is that you're Aunt Mildred must have had terrible flatulence, and I would rather hurt, but thank you for your concern.  Sometimes, I get tired of being nice.

I believe that we all have a duty to educate those around us about these invisible conditions.  Of course, there are those around who will not believe what we have to say, no matter how much proof we can hand them.  It is very frustrating to be constantly belittled and ignored, but we can't quit.  Like the old saying says, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and the more we squeak, eventually someone is going to listen.

If nothing else, I would like to see a return to common courtesy.  If you see someone struggling to carry something, offer to help them.  If you see someone in a wheelchair having trouble opening a door, offer to help them.  If you notice someone who seems sad or depressed or stressed, just offer them a kind word and a smile.  If we want others to be accepting of us, we must be accepting of those around us.