Wednesday, April 4, 2012

One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

Dealing with chronic pain is like taking one step forward and two steps back.  And this happens with alarming regularity.  Some days, it just seems like there is absolutely nothing we can do to get ahead of this condition, and this is one of the things that leads to the crushing depression that many of us deal with.  I'm sort of at that point right now.

The other day, I wrote about having a great day.  I was feeling well, and even though I didn't do anything exciting, I did more than my body could handle.  I can't tell you the number of times this happens to me, and to so many others dealing with chronic pain.  For people who do not deal with this condition, you simply do the things that you need and want to do, and you don't think about it afterwards.  I remember those days, but they are nonexistent now.

Going to the grocery store is a major ordeal for me.  First of all, I have to start planning about a week in advance.  I pick the day that I am planning on going, and I start resting up in order to have the energy to get through the trip itself.  I let my family know that this is the day that I'm planning on going, and I make sure that at least one of my children is going to be home to go with me.  I try to go at a time during the day when there aren't going to be too many people there.  There are a couple of reasons that the time of day is so important.  I cannot make it through the store walking anymore, so I try to make sure it isn't a peak time of day to make sure that I can get one of the scooters that many stores now provide for people who are older or disabled.  I also have trouble maneuvering through the store when there are a lot of people there.

Taking one of my sons with me is essential.  I need someone with me who can actually push a cart since the basket on the scooter isn't big enough for everything we need.  It's also very difficult for me to reach things higher up on the shelves.  By the time we get through the store, I am exhausted, even with riding on the scooter.  Getting through the checkout line leaves me sweating and shaking.  I have to have one of my sons put all of the bags into the car for me because it is all that I can do to get back into the car and drive home.

Once we get home, the only thing that I can do is go inside and get into my recliner and put my feet up.  My sons and husband have to put everything up.  On a grocery shopping day, we either order out or we have something for dinner that doesn't require cooking because I simply can't handle it.  My pain levels are through the roof when I get home.  My back will go into horribly painful spasms for hours after this much activity, and it often takes two to three days for me to start to get back to normal.   This doesn't happen every once in a while.  It happens every single time I have to go grocery shopping.

This is only one example of something I deal with all the time.  It isn't just grocery shopping that does this to me.  It also involves going out to eat, visiting friends, attending school functions for my children.  These are things that most people just take for granted.  You don't have to plan for days in advance to do something that seems so simple.  And every time we take that one step forward to do something we either need to do or want to do, it takes us two steps back to get over whatever it is that we did.

1 comment:

  1. It is torture going to the store for me, and I only shop for myself. For a few yrs I ordered nutrisystem food - not because it helped me lose weight, it didn't and I don't recommend it because every meal has soy in it, and soy messes up your thyroid - but because it is delivered to your door and all I had shop for was perishables and toiletries. But I reached a point where I had to lose weight, so I had to stop the delivery of NS.

    I have a granny cart that I put in my car and use to bring the groceries in when I get home. But like you, I have to prepare days in advance for a stock up run, and I have spend 2-3 days recovering, so I can't have anything scheduled to do on any days afterward. It is a struggle.

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