Friends

Friends can be such an important part of our lives.  They are there to share the laughter and the tears with us.  Many people who live with a chronic illness quickly learn who their true friends are, because many people walk away from us.  It's hard to support a person with a chronic condition, because you never know if they are going to be there for you or not.  I don't fault the people who have walked away from me, but I cherish the people who are still there.

I have two friends that I know will be there for me know matter what, and I will be there for them anytime they need me.  We all have a lot of acquaintances in our lives, and we know that we can call them up to chat or maybe go out to lunch.  But true friends are much more rare.  True friends are those people who know your deepest, darkest secrets, and you know that they will never tell anyone.  True friends are the people who sit and hold your hand during your darkest days.  True friends are the people who will cry with you over your deepest sorrows, and laugh with you at the funny things that happen in all of our lives.  True friends are very rare, and when you find one, you should treat them like a priceless jewel.

I am blessed to have two such friends in my life, and I don't know what I would do without them.  My first friend and I met each other in college.  Almost from the minute we me each other, we were best friends.  I was able to talk to her about anything and everything, and I new that I could trust her with my life.  We had a standing date every week night at 11:00 pm, when we would get together to watch Star Trek (nerdy, I know!).  We also were both singers and always supported each other when we performed.  She was a bride's maid when I married for the first time, and I love her like a sister.

Sharon was a couple of years ahead of me in school.  During her senior year, she started having horrible pain.  It got to the point that she had to temporarily leave school because she could no longer function.  We soon found out that she had rheumatoid arthritis.  Even though she wasn't at school, I made a point to talk to her a couple of times a week, and let her know that I was still there.  After several months, Sharon was able to return to school, but she was very limited in the physical activities that  she could do.  There were times when she couldn't make the walk to class, and I would make sure that she got my notes, if it was a class we had together, or I would track someone down from her class, and get a copy of their notes for her.

As time went on, I became the one in need.  I went through a nasty divorce, and Sharon would always seem to call me at the right times.  It was like she knew that I needed her.  Or, I would go to her house for a weekend visit, and she would take care of me.  I don't think I could have gotten through this time in my life without her loving care and attention.

Over the years, we lost touch with one another, and there was always a little piece missing from my heart.  When good things happened in my life, I wished that she was there to share them with me, and when bad things happened, I wished that she was there to cry with me.  I missed her so much, that I decided to track her down.  I found her eventually, once my son's taught me how to use Facebook!  I sent her a long letter and told her everything that had happened in my life up to that point and I sent her my phone number.  And finally, it happened!  My phone rang and it was Sharon!  As soon as we started talking, it was like we had just hung the phone up a few hours before, and we were just continuing that last conversation.  We have both been through a lot of things in our lives since that phone call.  And even though we live hundreds of miles apart, we will never lose one another again.

The other friend that I can't live without is a new friend.  I met Brenda (not her real name) through a Facebook support group for people with fibro.  We learned that we only lived about 30 miles away from each other and decided to get together for lunch.  Well, it was like finding a long lost friend.  Despite the fact that she is much younger than I am, it just didn't seem to matter!  We had so much in common, and we understood what the other was going through because of our shared condition.

Not long after we met, I had to have a medical procedure performed in Louisville.  I couldn't drive, and I couldn't find anyone to take me.  Brenda and I were talking on the phone and I told her that I didn't know what I was going to do.  She told me not to worry about it, because she would make sure that I got there, and got home.  This wonderful woman drove 30 miles to my house to pick me up by 6:00 am, drove 30 miles back to Louisville, and stayed with me throughout the procedure.  Then she drove me back home, made sure I got into the house and had everything I needed.  And she then had to make the drive once again to get home.  I couldn't believe that someone went to that much trouble for me!

There have been several times when I was having a rough day, and Brenda would show up on my doorstep out of the blue!  It was like she knew when I needed a friend without my telling her.  One day, she came over and we went out to a local restaurant for margarita's.  Another time, she knew that I had been in a bad flare up of my fibro and wasn't sleeping.  Brenda came over to see me.  She made me lay down and take a nap, and she cleaned my kitchen for me.  I am just so blessed to have this wonderful woman in my life.  She has quickly become someone I look up, despite the fact that she is so much younger than me.

Brenda also has fibro and chronic pain.  Not long after we met, she decided that she was going to get more active.  Her boyfriend, whom I'm also crazy about, is a long distance runner, and Brenda wanted to start running with him.  Slowly, Donny (not his real name!) started working with her to train her body to handle the increased exercise.  It was hard for her, but Brenda is now running with a vengeance!  She has competed in half marathons and 10 mile races.  And she runs in honor of those of us with fibro and chronic pain conditions.  Brenda is one of those rare people that I consider to be an Earth Angel.

When it comes to friends, quality is far more important than quantity.  There have been times in my life when I thought that I had very dear friends.  But when things got difficult in my life, they were nowhere to be found.  I have had times when I have shared very personal things with people I thought were my friends, only to find out that they were telling everyone we knew.  I am blessed to have met Sharon and Brenda.  I know that these two women love me as much as I love them, and they will always be an important, vital part of my life.