The last couple of weeks has just been non-stop for me. Staying busy like this keeps my mind off of my pain for awhile, but eventually, it rears its ugly head once again and lets me know that chronic really does mean CHRONIC! Today, my body decided to remind me that everything still hurts and that there is very little I can do about it. I can almost hear the pain gremlins laughing at me. It's like they are telling me that they are in control and I am at their mercy. It really makes me angry sometimes.
So what have I been up to for the last couple of weeks? The biggie was taking Matt to college for the first time. He is a freshman at the University of Louisville this year, majoring in biochemistry, with plans to go to medical school. I am so proud of him! The walking just about did me in when we moved him in, although Matt and Jack both said they were amazed at how well I handled it. Jack figures that we probably walked a little over a mile that day. By the time we got home, I was in tears from the pain, but I survived, and that is something, in my book!
I haven't been able to take any time off to just sit and let my body recuperate. There have been so many errands that have to be done, and since Dale can't drive anymore, it has fallen to me to take care of everything. Running to the store, taking Jack to his different activities, doctor's appointments, you name it, I've done it. Most "normal" people would simply say that's life, and wonder why it would be difficult for anyone. But my fellow chronic pain sufferers know what I am talking about.
Jack had to have all four wisdom teeth pulled on Thursday, so I have also been wearing my Dr. Mom hat this week. He hasn't had nearly as much pain as I thought that he would, but bless his heart, he looks like a chipmunk! I have even taken to calling him Alvin every now and then! The hardest part for Jack has been the liquid diet. The poor child is convinced that he is starving to death. I finally convinced him that he could eat canned ravioli, and oatmeal, and that seemed to fill him up a lot better than jello and soup. Yesterday, he even at a few bites of chicken nugget! I think he's going to survive!
I think everything finally caught up with me yesterday. Every time I sat down and got quiet, I fell asleep. I slept off and on all day yesterday! In fact, last night I fell asleep sitting up. I woke up at 8:30 this morning, still sitting up straight. I could barely move because each and every muscle was so stiff. I did manage to lie down and I slept a couple more hours. As of right now, I'm still hurting!
Lastly, I have to brag on myself. I have smoked for 30 years, and I haven't been able to quit. The truth of the matter is that I really like smoking. I know that I need to quit, but the thought of the withdrawals honestly kept me from trying very hard. But, the time has finally come that I am getting serious about quitting. I had previously tried an electronic cigarette with the cartridges, but it was a waste of time and money. I didn't like it at all, and within a couple of days, I was back to smoking again.
One of the pawn shops in town has been advertising a different type of electronic cigarette, which uses a liquid nicotine and an atomizer instead of the cartridges. I talked to a couple of people who have been using it, with great success. Well, I bought one the other day! You gradually decrease the strength of the nicotine that you put in it, until you aren't using any. And I am happy to report that I haven't had a real cigarette in three days. I know that isn't very long, but for me, it's impressive!
I hope that each of you remembers to take care of yourself, and that your pain levels are tolerable at this point.
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